Have you heard about "Toby?"

An brief account of a life in between

Thanks for reading! Queerness and identity is a complex and nuanced topic, and I am speaking from my own perspective on it. I encourage you to seek out other perspectives as well, and consider your own preconceived ideas as you read on.

A note on language and identity: this content is from a time period where there was not nearly as much language available regarding gender and sexual diversity, and when blatant homo- and transphobia was normal and prevalent. This means that the folks in these accounts used different language than us to describe their complex experiences in a hostile world. Whenever possible in these accounts, I am using the language that any person used to describe themself. When pronouns are not known, available, or confirmed, I use the person’s name only.

Please also note that if you watch any of the content linked here that you may encounter dated, homophobic, transphobic, and ableist language. This content is still of historic and social value, and should be considered.

Before there was Oprah, there was Sally Jessy Raphael. Sally was one of the first female hosts of a daytime interview talk show, simply called “Sally”, which ran from 1983-2002. The show started as a radio program and gained a good sized following, including (interestingly) within the gay community. “Sally” was in the same vein as Maury and Jerry Springer, featuring sometimes explosive interviews with people with interesting life stories, dramatic problems, or big questions they needed advice on in front of a live studio audience. These talk shows were a staple of the 80’s and 90’s, and interestingly, were many folks’ inadvertent first introduction to Queerness. Queer and trans folks were frequent subjects on these interview shows because of their “strange” or “weird” experiences, and often their sex assigned at birth was framed as a big twist, dramatic reveal, or discussion point (sometimes leading to fights). It was all very voyeuristic and almost always positioned the Queer person as the butt of the joke or the cause of the problem. It was salacious to speak with folks who lived so obviously on the fringes of so-called “normal” society. The audiences always got into it- booing, cheering, jeering, and chanting at the right moments. These shows have been rightfully criticized for their exploitative nature, some even arguing that they were a modern-day “freak show” equivalent. But the impact and reach of these types of programs cannot be ignored, and sometimes, they shone the spotlight on people whose stories needed to be told.