Thanks for reading! Queerness is a complex and nuanced topic, and I am speaking from my own perspective on it. I encourage you to seek out other perspectives as well, and consider your own preconceived ideas as you read on.
I am a new “man.” I have been on testosterone for almost three full years now (a milestone that has arrived ridiculously fast), but it has been only in the last six months or so that other people have begun to consistently perceive me as a man in my day to day life. This shift in perception has resulted in a similar shift in treatment, which I find, mostly, compelling. I was raised as a girl, a daughter and sister, and thus all of my social knowledge is a woman’s. Girls treat each other very differently than they treat boys, and the same goes for boys. This is the first time in my life that I’m being treated like a man, and I am discovering an entirely new culture: new expectations and social norms and ways of moving through the world. It is interesting, but it is also strange.
The following is a collection of observations from recent brushes with masculinity and reflections on the expectation to perform. As you read on, remember that I do not think “man” describes my gender any more accurately than “woman” does. Other people’s perception of me is not really my problem, nor does it make up who I am. These collected encounters reflect a larger social obsession with gender and our forced defense of what is supposedly innate. They do not happen in a vacuum, and are influenced by larger social factors, as well as the other identities that everyone involved hold. Also- there are a vast array of Queer and trans experiences out there, and these are just my own.
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